Oh, sometimes I
wish I was Chri-i-stian. Oh, what a good life that would be.
I'd live by the Golden Rule every day And bear my cross
peacefully. And the girls are so lovely, lovely, Their
virgin lips unkissed By worry, fear, protected by A
communal Christian bliss.
Oh, sometimes I wish I was Jew-ewish. Oh, what a good
life that would be. I live by the To-orah every day And
live my life peacefully. And the girls are so lovely, lovely,
Their virgin lips unkissed By worry, fear, protected by A
communal Jewish bliss.
Rrrrr! - Just Can't Stop A Love Like That!
(Lyrics in red type are spoken. Just Can't Stop A Love Like
That! is a shouted-out-type rap song. Notes represent timing of
lyrics.)
The time
is near. The days grow colder. You look within And find
you're older Than you'd really like to be In all your
broken dreams
There's nothing you Can do to change The looking
glass
That rearranges Everything that you desired, So many
years ago.
Then rrrrr. Rrrrr! Something
in your heart begins to
stirrrrr! Then to hell with all
the consequences That you may incur. It's
rrrrr. Rrrrr! RRRRR!
Just
can't stop a love like that! Just can't stop a love like
that! Just can't stop a love like that!
A-when ya sees a-somethin' that ya need, You gotsta grab
it with both hands and squeeze. And pop it in your mouth just
like a Cheez-it And ease it. Then freeze it. Then
sleeze it. Woo!
Just can't stop a love like that! Just can't stop a love
like that! Just can't stop a love like that!
When my father was a
young boy, He sailed the Seven Seas In search of freedom
and of gold – A land of opportunity. (A land of
opportunity.)
And when he found America, He knew that he could be A
man of substance, goals and dreams – A wife, home, a family.
(A wife, home, a family.) The land of opportunity.
But now, it's just a post-Cold-War world. (It's just a
post-Cold-War world.) It's just a post-Cold-War world.
(It's just a post-Cold-War world.) When your body starts
a-shakin' And your fever starts a-breakin', Then you know
that it's just a post-Cold-War world.
When the Soviet Union died. (When the Soviet Union died.)
And Roosevelt welfare, too. (And Roosevelt welfare, too.)
But we still have Social Security And pension plans as a
surety. Isn't that Communist theory, too?
That's Communist theory for the middle class. (That's
Communist theory for the middle class.) So that's OK. (So
that's OK.) But when it comes down to the poorest, Then
you'd better join the chorus And just say that it's just a
post-Cold-War world.
So jump down. Turn around. Pick a bale of cotton.
Haa! So jump down. Turn around.
Pick a bale all day.
Oh, mammy! Pick a bale of cotton. Oh, mammy! Pick a
bale all day.
Me and my partner can Pick a bale of cotton.
Haa! Me and my partner can
Pick a bale all day.
Oh, mammy! Pick a bale of cotton. Oh, mammy! Pick a
bale all day.
We're going downtown To pick a bale of cotton.
Haa! We're going downtown To
pick a bale all day.
Haaaa!
If you don't want
to see me cry, You'd better shut the door Cuz I think
that I'm about To start just like before.
I just don't know why you can't see When I am feeling
blue Cuz when you're down, You know that I Am right
down there with you.
It's not something I like to say, But when I feel sad
In this old wa-ay.
I know that you're not mean or cruel, You just say what
you say. It's just that I do sometimes wish My life could
go another way.
So if love Is something in Which you do not believe.
And if you don't want to see me cry . . . If you don't want
to see me cry-y . . . Then you'd better shut the door or
leave.
Ducks,
ducks, ducks. So happy and peaceful are we. Ducks, ducks,
ducks. Contented and loving and free. In our world
There never is worry or fear. We glide o'er the water, Our
sons and our daughters Swim in a straight line at our tails.
A quack or two as we assail
Nuts, bugs, bread. The apples of our roving eyes. In
our heads, The heavenly morsels we prize. Watch us swoon
As we settle down to our meals. With loving embraces, We
scoop up the traces Of kindnesses left in our trails,
Content from our heads to our tails.
Quack, quack, quack. The words that all ducks love to
say. Off our backs, Each droplet of rain rolls away. In
a groove, Our lives couldn't be more serene. When winter
approaches And darkness encroaches, We fly off like birds
on a wing. Instinctively knowing Where we should be going.
We'll see you next year in spring.
Think you're pretty clever. Brighter than the sky. When
trouble rears its ugly head, You punch it in the eye.
First or second, third or last, It
doesn't mean a thing. For when you've crossed a pigeon's
path, You'll feel the crush of a pigeon's wing.
The pigeons are gonna getcha, If you don't watch out.
(Coo, coo, coo.) The next time you're out, you betcha,
You're gonna wanna scream and shout. (Oh, oh, oh!) You
know when you least expect it, You're gonna feel the drivin'
rain. (Yeah, yeah, yeah!) Don't give us your poo Cuz
you know you Will be getting it back again. And again.
And again. And again.
You know, hey, I'm really sorry. I should have just cut
and run.
(No, no, no!) But when you made
fun of me, well, I had to show you all how it was done.
(Please, please, please!) I
think that you're really something. It was envy, I just have
to say.
(Not in the face.) So if it
please you well, I guess that I'll just Be going on my own
way.
Only attractive
people
Go out on a Saturday night. But they don't look happy,
Like they're just finishing up With a god damn, knockdown,
drag out fight. Or is it just me,
Kinda ugly and free, Sucking all the air out of sight? Cuz
only attractive people
Go out on a Saturday night.
But honey, I don't care.
Life's unfair.
Full of anger and strife. And what does it matter Since
you don't love me, anyway? But if you held my hand, I
could feel A different kind of beauty inside. And to feel
that feeling Would be good, I think.
Cuz only attractive people Go out on a Saturday night.
But they don't look happy, Like they're just finishing up
With a god damn, knockdown, drag out fight. Or is it just me,
Kinda ugly and free, Sucking all the air out of sight? Cuz
only attractive people Go out on a Saturday night. And
only attractive people Go out there on a Saturday night.
Pig Sty
(Rap
song. Notes represent timing of lyrics.)
Well, you know you're gonna zoom-a When you clean-a up
your room-a Cuz you're cuttin' out the tuma in your head.
Ha! Cuz the filth is hittin' crisis And you're knowin'
what the vice is, When the mold beneath your pillow starts to
shed. Yuk!
Hey, big sissa, don't be stressin'. Little bruda be
addressin' Accusations of the mess in this here room. Ya!
Troot, you be a-guilin'. Little dirt won't hurt my stylin'.
When I'm here, I'm just a-smilin'. It's da boom. Za!
Boom. Boom boom. Da boom. Boom boom. Da boom. Boom
boom. Da boom.
Boom. Boom boom. Da boom. Boom boom. Da boom. Boom
boom. Da boom.
Well, the truth I ain't no mean one. Cuz you know that
I'm the clean one. Didn't mean no disrespect for what you
said. Boo! You may think I'm kinda screwy, But your
socks are gettin' chewy. And yo mama's yellin' sooey in your
head. Check it out, haa!
Sooey! Sooey! Sooey! Here, pig, pig, pig, pig.
Well, big sis, I see da erra Of my ways. You was da beara
Of good new. So I'll be cleanin' right away. Ya!
Well, don't know that I can trust ya. But, little bro,
don't wanna bust ya. So I'll leave you now With just these
words to say. Woooo!
They say that
life's unfair, That love's a dirty game. But I can't help
it. But I can't help it, oo oo. Thank god, for sex in the
brain. In the brain. In the brain.
When you came here to me, I knew that we could be So
like no other, So with each other, oo oo,
In love, in life, in the game. In the game. In the
game.
Then you did something bad. Gave up all that we had.
Now you can't stay here. Please go away, dear, oo oo, And
live your life in the rain. In the rain. In the rain.
They say that life's unfair, That love's a dirty game.
But I can't help it. But I can't help it, oo oo. Thank
god, for sex in the brain. In the brain. In the brain.
Some people you
Just want to screw Or hammer or nail away. With others you
think, It may take a drink To make them look sort of OK.
Oh, why the disparity in sex appeal? Oh, why do we feel
what we feel? It seems that we should Only sleep with the
good And let the bad wither away.
Wither, oh wither, away, away. Wither, oh wither, away.
It seems that we should Only sleep with the good And let
the bad wither away. Oh, and let the bad wither away.
When I was a young
girl Of just twenty-three, My friends all got married and
lived happily. They raised their young families In lives
filled with joy. A big house, a nice job, oh boy.
Look. See. She looks just like me, Her eyes filled with
starlight, A wonder to see. Her face is so lovely, She
must be brand new. But nobody appreciates my baby. But
nobody appreciates my baby.
It happened, in an instant, At twenty and four. We
were to be married, the man I adore. But as the day drew
near, He started to roam. And I was left all on my own.
Look. See. She looks just like me, Her eyes filled with
starlight, A wonder to see. Her face is so lovely, She
must be brand new. But nobody appreciates my baby. But
nobody appreciates my baby.
My baby stinks. My baby stinks. My
baby stinks.
He's going in
and out of style. My baby stinks.
Another diaper on the pile.
My baby stinks.
It doesn't matter what he's got. Sleeps a lot. In a pot.
My baby stinks.
My baby stinks.
But my baby's diff'rent. A whiff front and back Will
tell you immediately What my baby lacks.
Your baby stinks.
There's no exception to the rule.
Your baby stinks.
His fumes could give a rocket ship its fuel.
Your baby stinks.
Please pull the blanket from your eyes. There's no disguise.
He's attracting flies.
Your baby stinks.
Your baby stinks.
I just can't believe that You'd say such bad things.
To hurt him on purpose With the words that you sing.
Attacking him gleefully At your every whim. It's mean.
It's cruel. It's a big fat load of baby drool.
We have to go. It's been a true delight, my dear, To
get to know You better, understand you clearly. And then
so, We're off, we're gone just like a bird To leave you
with These few words. Your baby stinks. Your baby
stinks.
Hey neighbor, how's it goin'? Seems like we're going to
be all right. Just fine and carefree-ee. To and froin'.
We're happy all through the day and night.
Moo
moo moo went the cow cow cow. Moo moo moo went the cow. "I
want some milk," said the man. Reached out, then
"ouch!" Take me home again.
Cluck cluck cluck went the hen hen hen. Cluck cluck cluck
went the hen. "I want some eggs," said the man. Reached
out, then "ouch!" Take me home
again.
Oink oink oink went the pig pig pig. Oink oink oink went
the pig. "I want some pork," said the man. Reached out,
then
"oink!" Take me home again.
We're giving you
the gift of music. We're giving you the gift of song. We
hope that you, That you can use it, That you can use it
Your whole life long.
Oh well, I've got a note, my darling dear, That tells of
all the things you'd like to hear. Of how my love is
Strong and deep and true. And how my thoughts are filled
With dreams of you. You'd skip a beat. You'd skip a
beat.
People just love me. People just do.
People just love me. I don't know why but they do.
People just love me. People just do. People just love me,
love me.
I don't know why but they . . .
People really hate you.
They Derive pleasure from your pain. How could you think
otherwise? Can't you see that they despise you? Say they
love you, but they just Want to see you sliding slowly
Into a big pile of dark regret.
People just love
me. People just do. People just love me, love me. I
don't know why but they do.
People just love me. People just do. People just love
me, love me. I don't know why but they . . . I don't know
why but they . . . I don't know why but they do. Do. Do do
do.
Woo!
You take the
high road And I'll take the low road And I'll be in
Scotland afore ye. For me and my true love Will never
meet again . . .
all
pointless songs copyright
(c) 2001 eric nakao, except "pick
a bale of cotton" by traditional, minus spoken "ha's"; "my old
kentucky home" by stephen c foster; "dance of the sugar plum
fairy" (or fairies) by peter tchaikovsky;
"loch lomond" by traditional;
music for "but nobody appreciates my baby" related to
"oh dear, what can the
matter be" by traditional.
posted:
september 21, 2005
song
update: sunday, october 7, 2007, 1:30 PM ET
webpage update:
tuesday, march 10, 2009, 12:43 PM ET